Hello, Loves.
Flattery.
I hate it.
I don't even know if they're just teasing me or not anymore. People have said that they love me more times than I feel comfortable with. Maybe it's because of the fact that I rarely go out of my way to be around people. Perhaps I have changed since the last time I was around too many people? Have I become attractive? Or is it just horrible teasing, people trying to make me snap.
At the hospital people kept telling me they liked me. One girl wouldn't shut up about how "in love" with me she was. I don't feel comfortable with it. I hate it. I was not raised to be flattered. So That's why I'm afraid of it.
One of my best friends betrayed me this summer. Several months ago he began asking me strange questions. Then in July he said that we should meet up. Not two days later he told me he wanted to fuck me in the ass. he even asked for lewd pictures of me. I felt so horrible. I know he wasn't just being funny. He kept telling me that it wouldn't count because I'm gay. I know that the only reason he did that was because he'd never gotten the chance to do something like that before, he wanted experience, and that I was emotionally damaged at that time. My mother had just left. And he took advantage of me.
I have lost the ability to love.
Everyone whom I've ever loved has hurt me in some way, except for my father and step mum. I didn't love those people at the hospital, nor did I love the idiot who harassed me in July. But I feel uncomfortable with it. If someone truly did fall in love with me, I would never love them back.
I feel sick. The tea only made me feel sicker. I don't know what to do.
Sincerely,
Lady Grey
No comments:
Post a Comment